Old Habits Die Hard

I have officially completed my 21 day Microbiome Challenge. I can't say I failed it, because overall it forced me to add so many wonderful plant foods to my week and as I sit here drinking my miso soup in my trusty Bob's Burgers mug (because fermented food!!), I can't help but be a little disappointed in myself for all the times I faltered. From the outside looking in I would be so proud of myself for almost hitting the 30 different plant foods a week goal. I would pat myself on the back for making sure I included the wide varieties of plants to give me the full range of benefits. Congrats to me for even attempting and succeeding at meal planning, at least at the beginning of each week.

Where I fall short every time is the stress and exhaustion that each week brings half way through. That mid-week "I just have to get to the weekend" feeling that drives you to accept the offer from your husband to go pick up Chinese food, or your favorite sub. Or to make you raviolis while you sit on the couch scrolling through your phone. Or the temptation of a date night, Thirsty Thursday even, with margaritas, or beer and Keno. At the beginning of the week I am strong enough to decline. I've got the will power to know that I want to feel good after dinner, and don't want to waste all the money I spent on those well planned meals.

I did, however, strengthen my "I already knew that" lesson that eating more plants and less crap impacts me tremendously. By the evening on days where I planned well and ate well I felt great. The next day, especially, my motivation to function was evident. Work got done and by the end of the day I didn't feel absolutely down on myself with guilt of just how useless I was. I caught so many glimpses of how my life could be. I did have a lot of lows, and they were painful, especially after some great highs. I have to learn to accept that and not blame myself. Take the lessons and do better. I know I can.

The challenge has been over for almost a week now, and I'd say this week I did better than even during the challenge. I've taken the lessons I've learned and rather than beating myself up for not cutting the bad, I'm cheering myself on for adding more of the good. The more good things I add, the less room I have for. the bad things. Slowly but surely you can work your way into majority good.

I know I won't ever get to a point where I turn down every tasty treat offered to me. And I don't necessarily see a day when I go to our favorite dive bar and order a plain salad without fried chicken and cheese. And with kids in the house and endless stress, those chips will always call my name. I have to be ok with that and just know that every good thing I do take in is another bonus for my mental and physical health.